There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
