I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I think i got beer on your cat.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
