for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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