normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
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I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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