Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
