Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
