I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just want nice things and good sex
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
