he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
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she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
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Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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