Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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