CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
