May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize