Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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