Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
