Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
