idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I came so hard my ears popped.
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