Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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