I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize
