just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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