i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
