...so i touched it.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I have post one night stand depression
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