I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Randomize
