I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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