When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
