They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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