Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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