I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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