So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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