he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
