why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
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We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
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WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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