Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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