hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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