shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
