school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
