Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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