Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Two words: blizzard sex
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
