Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
