Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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