I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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