His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
