It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
