So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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