a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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