id be glad to
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
