the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
