She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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