My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
