so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
