No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize