so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
