DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
