his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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