I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
