I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
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We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
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I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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