I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
