y did u give ur computer a hand job?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.