wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
