I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor