I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all