We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
