My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the room spins SO much faster in panama
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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