I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
