But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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