i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
