He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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