Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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