If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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