My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
