Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She bit a glass in half.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
