My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
