We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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