Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
