I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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