i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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